winner by default

We came to the conclusion today that MJ is still alive: he was bordering on bankruptcy, so he scheduled 50 shows in ONE CITY which inevitably were going to sell out. Then he realized he probably wouldn’t be able to handle the physical and emotional stress 50 concerts would demand, had a nervous breakdown, took the money he was paid in advance from ticket sales (because why else would he agree to 50 concerts if he wasn’t getting paid at least a little bit of the profits up front), and he is now on an island in the Caribbean with Tupac where they can be a part of the Nation of Islam in peace.

I couldn’t care less than Michael Jackson is dead, but this Tupac Shakur mystery MUST BE SOLVED.

(SO WE CAN HAVE SEX.)